Church and Fat guy

Ok so My religoin is SDA, which basically means i attend a five hour mass on saturdays. So this saturday my sister was going to present her baby to the church. Little did i know this was going to be the WORST church mass in my life. My day started off badly when mikey (my dog) decided he was going to jump on my freshly ironed shirt. On the way to church i find out that i am going to be the god-father and im going to have to stand in front od the church and pray ( i HATE standing up in fornt of church). Anyway i get there and use the bathroom, when i come back everyone has a seat on one side of the church, so i have to go to the other side to find a seat. There was only one seat open and for some odd reason (at the time) the whole row was empty except for this one fat lady. Me, never going to this haitian church before, didnt think there was anything wrong with this woman. so i take a seat right next to her. I look around and people in the church are smirking at me, one girl even pointed and laughed. Im just thinking what the fuck? ok so service continues and the Pastor is doing is thing, you know getting everyone revved up to praise the lord. He says in creole "jesus knows what your thinking all the time", and i would soon find out my big mistake. All of a sudden i hear a loud, ear peircing, head shaking yell from this Fat lady. AMEN!!! im like Fuckkkk this lady better not do this the whole time....well she did. Five minutes later another AMEN!!!! and then another and another. As longer the pastor spoke the higher the rate of AMEN!!!! increased. (bringing me to a brilliant equation.....Fat fucking lady + haitian pastor= ARPM or Amen rate per minute) At one point this aldy Screamed AMEN!!!! 15 times in one minute. Mind you im sitting right next to her and she Yelling AMEN!!!! right in my ear. One time she said A!!!!!!......waited a couple fo second and said MENNN!!!! i was like WTF!???. Finalyy she got up to go use the bathroom and i made a run for it, i ddint even bother looking for another seat i just stood up in the back. At this point i thought i was free but then i had to go stand in front of the church to do the baby presentaiton thing. so im going back to stand then this aldy has the nerve to tell me "come on baby sit down and lets praise god"....i was like nooooo. I didnt wanna look like a jerk in fornt of the ENTIRE church so i sat next to the fat ass and before i could even sit down.....AMENN!!!!!!!! :Sigh: when church was over i was so happy. It was definetly the worst church experience of my life...i couldnt even enjoy some little kid getting beat for playing his PSP cause this fat lady just kept screaming AMEN in my ears. Anyways thanks for listening you guys now heres a video i found of some fat kid dancing i hope you enjoy